Humility.

I apologize.

Lately, it has occurred to me that I spend  entirely too much time talking about myself.  This blog included.  Ya, I know it's MY blog and that's what people do.  BUT.  My original intent for this space was to talk about my loved ones and what every one is up to, how THEY'RE doing, even how WE are all doing together perhaps.  Then, it became this thing where I posted all my triathlon training highlights and race results with an occasional, but heartfelt post regarding someone else in my life. 

That is NOT who I want to be.

Recently I've been around some amazing people, that do ridiculous things with their lives and they don't spend forever updating their status with their latest race stats, or blog about that superfluous info. either.  They use their time to BE.  With the people they like and love.  I respect that, a lot, because it's respectable.

Please understand that I am NOT in any way judging, outing, demeaning or condemning folks that do enjoy updating their status with their stats, or blogging about their accomplishments.  No. Not doing that.  Nor am I stating that I won't ever update on FB or write a new blog post.  I just won't be focusing on my exact training or racing statistics or newest accomplishments. 

I was chatting with a friend the other day and sort of jokingly said, "I still want to make my momma proud."  I wasn't really kidding though.  When I look at life and I think about what my purpose really is, I know that God's plan for me is to just care deeply for people, to be a positive presence wherever I am.  Not to go around showcasing my so-called "accomplishments."  Yes, doing triathlons and hitting new athletic milestones is part of my life, and of course I want to improve as long as I can.  But do you REALLY need to read or hear all the extraneous details about me?  Do I really expect you to care?  I'm sorry that I spent so much of your time writing about myself before. 

There are so many genuinely important events to talk about.  Like when my daughter came to town last week, after being away for three weeks to Portland, and we got to spend some glorious hours together.  Just chatting, catching up, loving on each other.  My daughter is an amazing young lady, with artistic talent and charisma galore.  She's beautiful inside and darling too.  She's nothing like me, but so much like me.  No one else makes my heart jump and start like her.  She's a tremendous gift.  I dropped everything to see her that day, I always will.  Lyara REALLY matters.

And when my mom went to Seattle with me for the weekend.  We live in the same city, twenty minutes apart.  She is always telling me how busy I am and she hates to call and interrupt me.  One day I realized she meant it.  So, we planned a trip together.  Drove to Seattle, shopped, visited her brother, talked endlessly and focused on each other.  We're planning a trip to New York for next summer.  My mom's a tough lady and someone I admire and adore.  Her life hasn't been an easy one, but she is vibrant, funny and lovely.  Oh, my mom, she matters.

As for my uncle, I hadn't seen him in a year and he just lives on the other side of the state.  He lives alone and my mom and our family are his only surviving relatives.   He has a memory so poignant that it shocks me sometimes.  He loves to reminisce about the past and can recall great stories about all of us.  His laugh is hysterical and infectious.  Uncle Eric matters.

My brother, Ernest.  I rarely talk about him.  He died over four years ago, so it's fairly painful to mention him.  I miss him terribly, he was my only brother.  We used to build forts and ride bikes together.  My dad would take us fishing at Seven Mile and then we'd enjoy donuts and hot chocolate at the Spud Nut.  He was an inventor and had patented and sold three different inventions before he left.  He loved cats, just like my mom.  He mattered to us all, he still does.

A list like that could go on and on.  I've got a husband, sisters, a step-father and endless others that matter in my life.  The point is, I spend an extraordinary amount of time DOING what I mean to be doing.  I don't need to go around and display it for you all.  I want to get this blog back to what it was intended to be.  About my people, not my self.