Conversely, I know and feel guilty about taking my people and my life for granted at times. We all do, it's tough to always take care of those we love the way they need to be loved. It's hard to remember that riding a bike or competing in a race is a privilege; not an obligation and to always be happy to do it, or else choose not to.
Lately, I have thought a lot about feeling gratitude and being genuine in such an easily superficial and superfluous culture. Maybe it seems like the two attitudes are not really related, but to me they certainly are.
As I have shared in previous posts, my only child is on her first adventure away from her home. This has been a hard transition for us, but she is making me proud and chasing down some goals. So that makes it all worth being grateful for, because this is what she needs right now. During Lyara's stay in Florida, I have sent her boxes of gifts, "stuff" that has hopefully reminded her of home and the love here. Last week, I received a gift in the mail from Lyara. What? Bam! A new milestone...Lyara has, for the first time, given me a gift that SHE earned the money for, chose personally and was seriously excited to give something to remind ME of HER. Ahhhhh. I feel ridiculously grateful. The gift's intent is genuine. Love, Love, Love.According to dictionary.com,
gen-u-ine
–adjective| 1. | possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real |
| 2. | properly so called |
| 3. | free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere |
| 4. | descended from the original stock; pure in breed |
Is anyone 100% genuine? Are we too full of judgement for others, self-preservation and greed to really be genuine? I personally do not possess the perfect attitude of being genuine. It is however, a quality that I am striving to be more of, to show more genuine character than not.
On Love: In being genuine, I truly mean it when I tell someone I love them; it is not an emotion I feel lightly or express like a high schooler would, all huggy-huggy and liberally given to any acquaintance. Equally, I want genuine love reciprocated. Not to say, if I love you, then you must love me back :). Just sayin' that if you say it, you should also feel it.
On Friendship: Likewise, I take friendship seriously...I like to show affection, spend quality time together and feel genuinely cared for and accepted. There's no extra time in our busy lives to mess around with fake friendships and catty people. Like me or leave me, but no need to pretend with me. Since this is what I need from a friendship, it is what I aim to give. Friends that are sweet on the surface, but deep down don't care to be there during some tough shit, or would trade your friendship for someone more cool, or adopt an elitist attitude, those kinda people are hurtful and life is hard enough. Lord, help me not be that person. Now, sometimes, I may seem too raw, too blunt saying just what I feel to my friends. I am who I am, and honesty is important in friendship. But I am working toward a better me all the time, because I realize I'm not better than you and recognize that you're not better than me.
On Life: I think a large part of really feeling gratitude and being a genuine human develops as we mature. I hope I am getting better at displaying both qualities. I know I am becoming much more interested in real life experiences, real people and less interested in wasting my time on people or things that detract from feeling grateful. It may have taken nineteen years for Lyara to gratefully choose to find me a genuine gift, but I'll take it. It really is the thought that counts, and the action doesn't hurt either.
1 comment:
great post Nat, I must have missed this one, glad you told me about it today! Keep up the writing its nice to have a blog to read that is different :)
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